


the smallest distance

by random_chick



Series: what small measure [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 07:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1258516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_chick/pseuds/random_chick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki makes the tactical error of taking a pregnant July home to meet the family. When Odin says something disparaging against July, Loki lashes out -- and gets himself tossed in a dungeon cell for his trouble. He spends the next seven months his cell, and leaving July to handle her pregnancy alone.</p><p>Except she doesn't handle it in the way everybody expects her to, and the end result is something nobody sees coming but everybody should have .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for kidficstory 2013 on LJ.

She should have known it wasn’t going to be a good day as soon as Loki led her out to the middle of the field they’d just arrived at; even if that hadn’t clued her in, the way he’d gathered her close should have.

But it was the whisper of wind around them, the tightening of Loki’s hand against her back, that finally did it. “Loki, what -- “ she whispered, even as he cut her off.

“Heimdall!” he shouted, throwing his head back and yelling to the skies. “I know you can see us! Come and get us!”

And then July had all of a second, if that, to catch her breath before they were off in what translated to her eyes as a maelstrom of light and brightness and _speed_ and then suddenly they were in a room and they were not alone.

“Oh, hello.” And then July was collapsing to her knees, bracing herself with her hands as she vomited, hard and fast and with no chance to breathe.

Loki knelt at her side, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail before tucking it down the back of her shirt to keep it out of the way. That done, he looked up with challenge in his eyes even as he rested a hand against his lover’s back.

“This is not the homecoming I imagined for you,” Heimdall said, his voice as even as ever. “I could not see you until just now, and yet I did not imagine you bringing home any visitors.”

“I come with a purpose, Heimdall,” Loki said, rubbing July’s back lightly. “Are the Allfather and my mother busy?” True, Frigga was no relation of his, but she had always been good to him, had alway been kind.

“I believe that for you, they will make an exception.”

“As they should.” Loki turned his attention to July, murmuring softly though he knew Heimdall could hear nonetheless. “Are you alright? Can you stand now?”

“I think I’m okay,” July said, getting shakily to her feet despite her tight grip on Loki’s arm. To Heimdall she said, “I apologize for the introduction. I don’t think your floor much appreciates it.”

“Heimdall can take care of the floor,” Loki said, his hand at July’s elbow. “We need to go see my parents.”

Only they both knew that Odin and Frigga weren’t his parents. More lies, though lies they were willing to perpetuate a little longer in the name of something only they knew.

“Come,” Loki said, guiding July gently away. “It is time you see some of my world now.”

July had no idea what that would entail.

 

The walk largely consisted of July looking around in awe; Loki couldn’t fault that. He supposed the bridge would be mind-blowing to anybody who hadn’t seen it before, anybody human in particular. But he was proud of the way July pulled herself together by the time they reached the throne room.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Odin demanded, startled and not bothering to hide it.

“You know I’m myself again, Father,” Loki said derisively. “Just as you should know that I dropped off Heimdall’s radar once I had my abilities back.”

“Which doesn’t explain you being here.”

“I wish to introduce you to someone.” Loki nudged July forward from where she’d hidden slightly behind him. “Father, Mother, this is July. My bride.”

There had been no ceremony, but after all they had been through, it was a natural progression. And woe betide anybody who argued with him.

Odin was working himself into a rage, but it was Frigga who spoke first.

“She’s beautiful, Loki,” she said warmly. “A perfect counterpart to you.”

“I thought so, too.” Loki allowed a small smile to cross his lips.

July smiled nervously. “It’s an honor to meet you,” she said to Frigga. “I’ve heard nothing but good about you.” She looked to Odin dismissively. “You, not a big fan of.”

Frigga suppressed a smile. “There’s conflict in every family. It’s understandable.”

“What he’s done goes beyond conflict!” Odin roared.

Frigga shot her husband a Look. “Now is not the time, husband mine. That is a conversation for the three of us, without July’s presence.”

“Anything you say to me, you can say in front of her,” Loki said coolly.

“This is a family matter,” Odin said. “And she is _not_ family. She will never be family.”

Loki was about to explode when Frigga spoke up.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” she asked, looking at July, the way she stood, the weariness in her expression, the sheer pallor of her face. “Oh, Loki, when were you going to tell us you’re going to become a father?”

There were twin looks of shock on both Loki’s and Odin’s faces. However, Odin was -- unfortunately -- the one to speak first.

“You _know_ the Midgardians’ lives are fleeting!” he snapped. “What foolishness is this, starting a family with one? She will die, Loki. One of these days soon, she will die and you’ll have a reminder that you won’t want to see. How will that make you feel?”

“Any reminder of July would be a good one,” Loki said stiffly, trying to hide his fury given that the two most important women in his life were in the room. “And I know I will lose her someday relatively soon. I am as prepared as can be for that fact.”

“Your child will be an abomination,” Odin said. “Half Midgardian, half Jotun. Then again, its father is also an abomination, so this should be no surprise.”

Loki’s breathing quickened, but he forced himself to stay calm.

Odin continued. “Your… dalliance with this human woman is a shame to our family.”

“I’m not truly part of the family,” Loki pointed out. “So I shame nobody.”

“You’re damn right you’re not part of the family,” Odin said. “You are not and your little fling here will never be and your _child_ shall certainly never be. You could have chosen so much better, Loki. How dare you demean yourself.”

Something snapped in Loki at that. He lashed out with his magic, hitting Odin square in the face. Rage colored his features and he was ready to do more -- but the security Odin bellowed for put a quick stop to that.

July raged as Loki was dragged off. “What are you going to _do_ to him?”

“Put him in a cell like I should have the first time!” Odin raged. “And you will _never_ see him again without a barrier between you.”

July could feel the tears in her eyes; she forced them down. “Nice parenting. Hopefully he’ll do better.”

“He’ll never have the chance.”


	2. Chapter 2

Loki raged in his cell, lashing out with fist and magic until everything in it had been destroyed. How _dare_ he be kept from July? And he had no doubt that Odin meant everything he had said, that July and their child would be treated as outcasts, probably held in their own captivity.

He would deal later with the fact that July had not informed him of her pregnancy. One issue at a time, and he was far too angry at Odin to be angry at July. Perhaps later, though. After everything else had been resolved.

He paced the cell, stepping deftly around bits of debris. There had to be _some_ way out of the cell, he decided, even if he wasn’t yet aware of it. It would only be a matter of time before he found out.

Until then he would rage with all the fury in him, rage and destroy and give vent to the emotion swirling within him. And there was considerable of it.

Finally he sank to the floor, frustration welling up and lashing out, a sharp wave of hard magic given release, angry tears that he wasn’t even aware of streaming down his face as his magic collided with the walls, rebounding and hitting him and eliciting an angry, pained scream. Anybody who saw them might have thought him insane, and perhaps he was, but this wasn’t the insanity of his beliefs.

This was the insanity of his love being torn away from him and knowing that their lives were forever changed for oh so many reasons.

And the insanity of knowing there was nothing he could do.

 

July was doing her own share of raging in the room they’d essentially shoved her into. It was an admittedly beautiful living space, yes, but she wasn’t paying attention to that. She was more focused on the fact that um, hi, they’d just torn her and Loki apart.

A light rap at the door caught her attention and pulled her out of her rage long enough to go to the door and answer it. “What do you -- oh. Hi.”

Frigga smiled warmly. “Hello, July.”

“What do you want?” July turned and stalked back into the room without waiting for an answer. She plopped herself back down on the bed and looked at Frigga coolly.

“I wanted to see how you are doing,” Frigga replied, undisturbed by July’s reaction. “After all, you’re carrying my grandchild.”

“Except it’s _not_ your grandchild,” July pointed out. “Loki isn’t your son. You’ve no connection to the child I carry, so why do you _care_?”

Frigga looked at her for a long moment. “Because though Loki is not my son, I still consider him as such,” she replied. “I did my best to raise him, to offset Odin’s distance from him. To give him the love I knew he needed. I fear I failed greatly, but I did everything I could.”

July considered that for a moment before accepting it. “It wasn’t enough, you know.”

“I know,” Frigga said, perching in a chair. “But I tried. And that’s motherhood, July. You take your child and love them as best you possibly can and do everything for them that you possibly can and you pray that it will be enough.”

“I don’t need parenting lessons from you,” July said, but there wasn’t much heat in it. “What I need is for Loki to be free so that we can raise our child together.”

“That won’t happen,” Frigga said, and there was something like regret in her voice. “He must suffer his punishment -- and suffer he will, being separated from his family.”

“We’re his family, but none of us -- not even him -- is a part of _your_ family,” July said, sitting up and looking at Frigga. “And that’s what he wants. He wants to _matter_. It’s what drives him.”

“He will always matter to me,” Frigga said. “And he matters a good deal to you. And someday, he will matter to your son or daughter.”

July scowled. “A son or daughter who will miss out on being raised by their father,” she said. “And what’s going to happen to me, anyway? Somehow I don’t think Odin’s going to be all that inclined to send me back to Earth.”

“You will remain here,” Frigga confirmed. “You will have free reign to move about as you please, but you will not be allowed to return home -- asking Heimdall will do nothing, as he has already been informed that you are to remain here.”

“So I’m just as much a prisoner as Loki.” July was understandably less than pleased about this fact.

“You will be given the best life we can provide,” Frigga said. “Your child will be given the best we can provide.”

July knew that wouldn’t be much, not with Odin’s disapproval looming over them and looming large.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks went by and all that happened was that it was confirmed that July was pregnant -- two months almost exactly, now. Or possibly exactly. She hadn’t paid much attention to the Asgardian medics as they’d done… whatever the hell it was they’d done.

July still wasn’t used to the idea, not by half, but she knew she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. She was going to be a mother and she had damn well better accept and get used to that fact because she was apparently going to be a single mother.

Which was what brought her down to the dungeons, the realization of her single parenthood. Because despite that knowledge, there was still a conversation she needed to have with Loki. Ideally not from opposite sides of a barrier, but she would take what she could get at the moment.

She wasn’t expecting to see Loki sitting up against a wall, paging listlessly through a book. She wasn’t sure what she _had_ been expecting, but that wasn’t it. Maybe a little more sign of anger, of rage. (If she’d wanted that, she should’ve been there two weeks earlier.)

July stood in front of the cell silently, hands hanging listlessly at her side as she tried to figure out how to begin the conversation.

Loki took the decision away from her by saying, “Two weeks, July? Two whole weeks before you came to me? Why?”

“I wanted to come sooner,” July said. “But do you have any idea how hard it is making friends with the guards? Try impossible. I had to beg Frigga to speak to Odin on my behalf, just to get permission to visit you.”

“What makes you think I _want_ to see you right now?” Loki finally looked up from his book, eyes narrowed and expression cold. “You abandoned me, July, you lied to me and you abandoned me.”

“How did I lie to you?” July’s voice rose slightly.

“You neglected to tell me you were carrying my child.” There was anger in Loki’s voice at that, but there was something else, something almost like hurt.

“I didn’t _know_!” July protested. “I suspected, but I wanted to be sure. And then when your mother asked her question… I knew she was right.”

“You still should have told me you suspected,” Loki said. “I should have been informed.”

“Okay, listen to me, you really need to stop acting like I hid it from you on purpose,” July snapped. “I got confirmation of it when Frigga asked me when I was going to be a mother. That’s _it_. I hid nothing from you, would never hide anything from you.”

Loki rose to his feet, moving to stand directly in front of July, as close to her as the barrier would allow.

“How can you be so brash, so arrogant as to -- “

“Argue with you?” July cut him off sharply. “If you consider me your bride, then get used to marriage, Loki. There’s arguments and fighting and oh by the way, I’m kind of right here so you can stop playing the wounded party.”

“Wounded party?” He spread his hands wide, gesturing around him. “I am quite the wounded party right now, my love.”

“I’m the one who gets to deal with your father’s condescensions and condemnations,” she countered. “I would rather be in there instead.”

That brought a small smile to Loki’s face. “It cannot be easy on you,” he said, bowing his head slightly in acknowledgement of this small area where he was wrong.

“No, it certainly isn’t,” July said. “Though your mother has been absolutely lovely to me. I like her.”

“She’s rather the warm, welcoming sort of creature,” he said. “Whether she approves of you or not, she will never be anything less than kind to you.”

“I think I’m going to need that.”


	4. Chapter 4

Almost before she realized it, July was three months pregnant and developing the slightest of baby bumps. It was a terrifying realization when she noticed it, standing naked before the mirror in her room after her bath. She studied her reflection intently, running a hand over her stomach -- and there it was, that slight curve, that slight swelling, that brought it all home.

She really was pregnant.

She barely made it into her robe before she sank down to the nearest surface -- thankfully, a comfortable chair -- and began crying. Not shuddering sobs, not loud keening, just a quiet release of tears and shivering and cursing that nothing was the way it should be.

She didn’t know what to do. Oh, obviously, she would get dressed and go for a walk, as she always did. She wanted to go to Loki, to share this with him, but would he accept her presence? So many times when she tried to visit, he would sit there and ignore her until she had no choice but to leave.

Not today, though, she decided as she looked through closet of clothes Frigga had so kindly procured for her not long after her arrival. She selected a dress, put it on, and promptly spent five minutes resting a hand on her stomach and wondering if she really could see the bump.

No matter, July decided as she slipped her feet into her shoes and quietly padded out of her rooms and down the hall. Whether she could see it or not, she could _feel_ it, feel that slight curvature of her belly, and if she could see it then Loki would almost certainly be able to.

“He won’t want to see you, you know,” came the smooth female voice July had come to know and hate.

“Hello, Sif,” she greeted tiredly. “It won’t be the first time Loki hasn’t wanted to see me and it won’t be the last.”

“True enough,” Sif allowed. “But there is no reason you should be subjected to the whims and vagaries of Loki’s moods.”

“I am his wife, Sif, in all but ceremony.” July gave a smile just as tired as her greeting of a moment ago. “Marriage isn’t perfect, mine moreso than most.”

Sif said nothing, just studied July for a long, critical moment. She was entirely too perfect for Loki -- sharing his beliefs, willing to stand up for him, willing to face Odin’s considerable wrath just because she had the audacity to be in love with a traitor.

“Words, Lady Sif,” July said, suddenly tired. “Use them, please, or let me continue on my way.”

“Allow me to escort you to see your… husband,” Sif said, her voice tight as she bit off the last word.

July eyed the Asgardian woman skeptically. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Because I want to see how Loki reacts when he sees the swell of your stomach, when he’s confronted with incontrovertible evidence of your pregnancy.”

July had to at least give Sif points for honesty, if not for tact.

“You really don’t like him, do you?” July asked as they walked.

“No, I do not,” Sif replied.

“Why not?” July glanced over. “He’s a remarkable man.”

“Who sought the destruction of your people,” Sif countered.

“He didn’t want to destroy us, he wanted to rule us,” July corrected.

“If he had ruled, he would have destroyed humanity not long into things,” Sif said. “He is not capable of possessing something without ultimately destroying it.” She looked at July. “He will destroy you one of these days, July, if he hasn’t started to already.”

“Be quiet,” July hissed. “Before I punch you in the face.”

Sif eyed July with a distinctly unimpressed look on her face. “You wouldn’t even try.”

“Want to bet?”

 

They were at Loki’s cell a matter of minutes later; July stood there awkwardly, all confidence gone now as she looked at the man who in every way but legality was her husband, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and raise a family with. The man she’d never get a chance to have any of that with if Odin had his way.

“Leave, Sif.” Loki’s voice was sharp and cold, yet the edges were blurred a little. “This is a matter for July and I. Your presence is not required.”

Sif lingered for a moment, eyeing the two of them warily.

“ _Go_ , Sif.” Loki’s voice had more than a hint of snapped command. “This is not a conversation for your presence.”

Sif gave him a long, hard look before slipping into the shadows; she wasn’t going to leave so easily as that.

“Go, Sif,” July said a moment later, when she realized Sif was lurking in the darkness behind them. “Please?”

“I leave because she requested it,” Sif said, giving Loki a steely-eyed look before leaving.

Loki waited until he was well sure that Sif had gone; once he was satisfied, he said, “You look beautiful, July. Then again, you always do.”

She nervously smoothed her hand over her barely-there stomach. “Thank you,” she said, not at all sure what to do with her hands. She finally settled on resting her hand against her stomach, fingers curved protectively around the small bump.

“And how is our child?” he inquired.

July couldn’t help but smile. “Quite well,” she replied. “A bit too young for shifting and kicking, yet, but just beginning to show.”

“Let me see.” Loki’s voice was soft, not quite tender.

At the unexpected tenderness, July shifted the position of her hands to smooth the fabric of her dress tightly against her belly.

“Amazing,” he breathed. “You carry it beautifully.”

“I’m a snarky pregnant woman,” she said with a shrug. “There’s nothing particularly amazing about it.”

“There is to me,” Loki said. “There’s the fact that you face Odin’s wrath without any complaint.”

July shrugged again. “Honestly? I’ve barely seen him the past few weeks. I’ve had more interaction with your mother than anything else. She’s… too good a woman for Odin.”

Loki laughed at that. “Oh, how right you are.”

She let her hands fall to her sides. “Plus he thinks I’m an utter abomination, as is the baby, so he’s _more_ than happy to pretend we don’t exist whatsoever.”

“He will have to face you someday,” Loki pointed out.

“And when he does, I can’t promise he won’t be greeted with a kick to the kneecap.”

“I doubt anybody will have a problem with that.”


	5. Chapter 5

Time passed, and July’s pregnancy progressed, and life went on. Loki remained in his cell and July kept visiting. There were times he allowed her to be present and there were times he forced her away. Things became routine, to the point of being dull and progressing towards boring. If she were at home, July would have found it reassuring and calming.

On Asgard, it had her nerves on edge. The last thing she needed was to be five months pregnant and stressed all the time.

She was walking the halls of the main palace yet again, as she often did when she was restless. It tended to soothe the baby, who had started kicking several weeks earlier and whose kicks were starting to really pick up. And while being on her feet so much was starting to bother her more and more, if it kept the baby calm then she was all for it.

It was one such day when she came across someone she hadn’t seen in months -- or at least, hadn’t seen long enough for a conversation.

“Odin.” She couldn’t help the sneer that colored the word.

“Mortal.” The same sneer colored that word, as well. “Roaming the halls like a palace pet, I see.”

“Oh, so I’ve graduated from an abomination to a pet? It’s a step in the right direction. I’ll take it,” July said, resting a hand on her stomach protectively.

“No matter what you are, you still do not belong here,” Odin replied. “And yet, it makes sense that Loki would get involved with you.”

“Oh, really?” July wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to hear Odin’s logic on the matter.

“Of course. You’re an abomination and he’s not even the race he pretends to be.” Odin eyed her almost dismissively. “Your baby doesn’t stand a chance. It will not be human, no matter how much you wish it. Oh, yes, it will be half human, but do not forget what the other half truly is.”

July frowned slightly but hid it as best she could. “I’m well aware of what my child’s other half is going to be. I’m also well aware of what the baby could very well come out looking like. I will face that when it happens.”

“You’re delusional, little girl,” Odin said. “If you think that this is going to work out at all in your favor, you are a delusional little girl who deserves the misery she will be facing.”

July’s expression hardened. “I’m hardly delusional. I know the truth better than you think.”

Odin scoffed. “If you think this situation is going to work out at all in your favor, then you are more than a little delusional _and_ you are even more unintelligent than I first thought you were.”

July arched an eyebrow. “I’m intelligent enough to know whose side I need to be on,” she said. “I am on my own side, and Loki happens to be there as well. If that means I support him in some less than legitimate endeavors, then so be it.”

Odin just looked at her. “You are delusional -- “

“Odin!” came Frigga’s scolding voice. “Be kind.”

“She does not deserve it,” was Odin’s response.

July fought back a scowl. If Frigga was coming to her defense, then Frigga could deal with him. She herself was hardly in the mood to get into what would undoubtedly be a screaming match. And a screaming match with a glorified Norse god would only turn out badly.

“She is pregnant,” Frigga replied. “It is unkind to be so cruel to her and put stress on her. It could hurt the child.”

“A child that should not exist.”

“Perhaps, but it _does_ exist,” Frigga said calmly. “And so, you _will_ be civil.”

Odin looked at his wife for a long moment. “ _You_ can deal with her, if you are so determined for her to be treated with kindness,” he said. “She will have none of it from me.” And with that, he walked off.

July just watched him go. “Well… at least he was honest about it.” She could appreciate that, if nothing else.

“Are you alright?” Frigga questioned.

“I’m fine,” July assured her. “I’ve dealt with worse than your husband. Though I do think that he would get along well with my brother, given how much Miles dislikes Loki.”

“I do not think it is wise for you to be involved with Loki, but that is your choice,” Frigga said. “And no matter what, I still consider him my son and wish for him to be happy. You seem to make him happy, as angry as he may be in his situation.”

“I love him,” July said. “All I want is for him to be happy. Which means I do _not_ want him locked up in that cell.”

“He must be, though,” Frigga said gently. “After everything he’s done, it is what he deserves. All we can do is make things as comfortable as possible for him.”

July looked at the other woman for a long moment. “It is impossible to make it truly comfortable for him,” she said. “The only way he could be comfortable would be if he were free.”

“And _that_ is the impossible part.” Frigga’s face was full of sympathy. “I know it is hard for him and for you as well. If there is anything I can do for you, please, let me know.”

“There is only one thing you could do for me, and it’s something you can’t do anyway, so what’s the point?” July looked at Frigga for a moment before pivoting and walking away.

Frigga watched her go. What else _could_ she do but watch her adopted son’s lover -- no, wife -- walk away? She certainly wasn’t going to promise anything she couldn’t deliver.

But part of her wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

July had taken to spending some of her days bothering Heimdall. She had little else to do, and there was only so much time she could spend roaming the bits of Asgard she could get to. And there was especially only so much time she could spend talking to Sif or avoiding Sif, depending on their moods on any given day.

And visiting Loki only went well roughly fifty percent of the time, at best. There were days where that was quite simply too much to bear. And those were the days where she went to visit Heimdall.

She could not go home, of course, but if she was nice enough then Heimdall would let her watch her world for a while, watch her brother. Miles had a boyfriend now, someone he’d met through work, and July couldn’t help but wish that she were there to terrorize the both of them. She and Miles might have been irrevocably separated and she might even have hated him more than a little by now, but he was still her brother and she still wanted the best for him.

Even if he didn’t want the best for her.

“Hello, July,” Heimdall greeted. “I trust this morning finds you well.”

“I’m six months pregnant and the baby’s kicking up a storm,” July replied. “So it’s going well enough.”

“That is good,” Heimdall said.

Before anything else could be said, Heimdall’s attention was grabbed by something -- July stood back and watched.

And the arrival surprised her.

“Hello, Thor,” Heimdall greeted. “What brings you here?”

“I need to speak with Father,” Thor replied. He noticed July and cocked his head. “And who would you be?”

“July Harrison,” she said, absently running a hand over her belly to soothe the furious kicking. “Hush, little one.”

He arched an eyebrow. “A pleasure to meet you, July. You are… from Midgard, are you not?”

“How did you know?” July asked.

Thor laughed. “The last name gave me a hint.”

“Well, the hint is correct. Wow, it’s awesome to finally meet you,” July said. “I’ve heard so much about you. Granted, not all of it’s been good, but that’s what happens when Loki gets in one of his moods.”

Thor frowned. “How do you know Loki?”

“This is a conversation best had elsewhere,” July said.

“Then walk with me,” Thor said, simultaneously intrigued and a bit concerned. Any woman who knew Loki was someone to worry about.

As they began walking, Thor asked, “So what precisely is your connection to my brother?”

“I’m his bride and the mother of his child,” July replied.

That stopped Thor for a second, figuratively speaking. “I have been home several times; Mother and Father have never mentioned you to me and they have certainly never mentioned that Loki took a wife.”

July laughed bitterly. “That would be because your father would much rather pretend I didn’t exist and your mother, God bless her heart, tries the best she can to run interference between us. Though I try to avoid him as much as possible, so I don’t know how much interference is actually needed.”

“Father is… less than fond of your race,” Thor conceded. “But it makes sense that Mother would take to you; she has a good heart and tries to help everybody she can.”

“And then there’s Sif, who alternately hates me and adores me, it would seem.” July sighed. “She tends to try lurking in the shadows whenever I go talk to Loki. It got really annoying really fast.”

“She is most distrustful of Loki and has been for a while,” Thor said. “Even if she takes to you, she will not truly like you.”

“Which I’m fine with,” July replied. “I don’t need friends. Especially not here.”

"Then what do you need?" Thor asked, even as he thought he knew the answer.

"I need Loki free," July responded. "I need him free to be with his family. I need him free to be with me. But most of all, I need him free so that he can even just at least meet his son or daughter when they are born."

"But that will not happen," Thor said with a surprising gentility.

"No, it won't," July agreed, and there was no small amount of sadness in her voice.

Thor looked at her and realized that, to his great surprise, this tiny young woman actually and legitimately loved his brother. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he knew what it was like to love one that you could not be with.

"Stand by him," he said. "No matter what he does to push you away, do not let him. And believe me, he will try."

"Oh, he has," July said with a sad laugh. "He's tried. Believe _me_ , he's tried. And most of the time I don't let him. Because he's in an untenable situation and he's got to do what he can to keep himself as sane as he possibly can."

Which wasn't very, in Thor's estimation, but he wisely kept his mouth shut on the matter and said nothing. At least, nothing on _that_ particular subject. Instead, all he said was, "He is complex. Understanding him has never been easy; now, even moreso."

"You don't agree with his beliefs." July knew it but needed to say it.

"No, I don't."

"But I do." July looked at Thor as they neared a building. "So why are you giving me advice? Especially when you're telling me to stick by him. I would've expected you to be like almost everybody else and tell me to abandon him, to worry about myself, to forget about him."

"Who has told you that?" Thor asked.

"Your father, most certainly. Even your mother has told me it would be wise to keep my heart in check and remember the truth of the situation." July looked at him. "But I do not want to. I want to follow my heart, the way I've followed it the past many months. And Sif tells me to abandon him every chance she gets."

"That's Sif for you," Thor said, with no small amount of affection in his voice. "She has never bothered to hide her dislike of him."

"Which I appreciate in an odd sort of way," July said. "Because at least she makes no bones about the fact that she's not a fan of his -- or of me, sadly enough."

"It's honesty," Thor said, holding a door open for her. "You prize honesty above all else, because with the situation you find yourself in, lies cloak it in darkness and you're tired of it by now, I would imagine."

"You have no idea how tired of it I am," July said. "You have no damn idea."


	7. Chapter 7

Keeping in shape at seven months pregnant wasn’t easy, but July was determined. Of course there was baby weight, that was to be expected, but she didn’t want any weight that _wasn’t_ baby weight.

And more importantly, working with Sif gave her something to _do_ with her time. That was the _real_ reason she did it, if truth be told. She was going absolutely fucking stir crazy even in the vastness of Asgard; even with the freedom to roam, she was still a prisoner.

July did not do well with being a prisoner. Her short time at SHIELD had taught her that.

“You look lost in thought,” Sif said, coming up next to her.

“The usual,” July said with a sigh. “I’m trapped here, I don’t want to be here in the first place, and I’m going to be a single mother. It’s so woe is me that even _I’m_ annoyed with myself.”

That got a laugh from Sif, albeit a short one. “Have you thought of names?” she asked, apropos of absolutely nothing.

July shook her head. “That’s not exactly the kind of thing we can talk about right now, though I really guess we should figure something out. I can’t very well call the poor little thing by no name once it’s born. Endearments only get you so far.”

“Do you think it will be something Asgardian or something traditional to your world?” Sif asked as she started going through a warm-up routine.

“I don’t know, honestly,” July said, beginning her own stretching. “I’d always thought I would name my firstborn after my brother, if it were a boy, but with Miles and I being very much not on speaking terms… I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“I would ask if there were any hope for a reconciliation, but given the situation?” Sif gave a shrug as she moved through her routine gracefully.

July laughed and began moving through her own routine. They had come up with it a few days earlier, and had tailored it around the fact that she was as pregnant as she was, so she was quite as smooth with it as she could be. All the same, even this simple warm up put her in a better mood. Doing this, she could stop thinking for a little while and really, she had entirely too much to think about so she was all for forgetting it for a while -- even if only for a _little_ while.

And as she let Sif begin moving her through a slightly more complicated series of exercises, July admitted that at the moment, she could use all the forgetting she could get. Because in a couple entirely too short months, she’d have the reminder around permanently.

It was a little terrifying.

 

July wasn’t at all sure as to how she’d managed to deal with the past nine months. Alright, so the first two months hadn’t been so bad, but once she’d _known_ she was pregnant it’d kind of all gone downhill from there. Between Odin apparently having it out for her -- though without the actual desire to _do_ anything to her, thankfully -- and Loki being trapped in his cell, things had been bad enough. Her dubious friendship with Sif had only vaguely improved the outlook of things.

Going into labor in the middle of a conversation with Sif? Had wiped that all out.

And now July was being fussed over by the team of irritatingly cloying Asgardian medical professionals that’d been taking care of her all along -- at Frigga’s insistence, she was sure.

"You're going to be just fine," one of the... did the woman even count as a nurse? as a doctor? ... said to July. "You'll be just fine, and your baby's going to be just fine, too."

"Damn right we will be," July said, stifling a whimper at the pain -- because damn it, labor hurt. "Because if we're not, Loki will find out, and if he finds out that you let us get hurt he will raze this place to the ground."

The woman looked to Sif, who was still hovering in the doorway. "She's basically right," Sif replied, the expression on her face signifying that she wasn't terribly happy about that fact, either. "Unfortunately."

"Shut your face, Sif," July said as the pain receded for a moment. "Because I'm really not in the mood to hear you. Though hey, you do make a great distraction from the pain. In that case, get your ass over here and keep talking to me after all."

Sif looked to one of the medical personnel who was essentially just puttering in the room. "Go do something useful and tell Frigga that July has gone into labor," she snapped as she moved to July's side. "She will want to know and she will not be best pleased that you have waited so long to inform her."

The staffer hesitated.

" _Now_!" Sif commanded.

The staffer scurried out.

"Stop scaring people," scolded the woman who'd spoken to July. "We need them in here and they won't want to take care of her if you're busy in here scaring them off."

"They need to be scared into doing their jobs," July hissed in defense of Sif. "It's hardly a secret that I'm Loki's wife; the second someone finds out about that, they're quick to avoid me, to do anything they can to avoid facing me. Well, I'm tired of it."

"And I don't blame you," the woman soothed. "I would be upset as well were someone to take their opinions out on me merely because of who my husband is."

"So you're married," July said, wincing as another contraction hit. "That's nice." She didn't know what else to say, largely because okay, ow, holy hell. She hadn't been prepared for it to hurt this much and was wondering if it was because Loki was Jotun and not human or even Asgardian. It was a scary thought.

But it was also a thought that she did her best to push aside. She had more important things to worry about at the moment, like birthing the baby that she was worrying about so much.

Frigga must have been nearby, because the next thing July knew the Queen of Asgard came hurrying into the birthing room.

"How is her progress?" Frigga asked.

"She is coming along well," the doctor replied. "It will be a bit longer yet before her child makes their entry into the world, but she will be fine."

"That's good," Frigga said, taking July's hand in her own. “Sif, go to the dungeons and inform Loki; he deserves to know.”

Sif’s face tensed slightly; despite that, she said nothing, instead simply turning and leaving the room.

The contraction had ebbed by then; another came in its place. July knew the fact that they were coming sooner was a good thing, but she still hadn’t expected it to hurt quite so much. She would face it, though. She would face it with all the strength she could muster.

Which at the moment was proving to be not nearly enough.


	8. Chapter 8

Sif had contemplated not even going to Loki and telling him the news, but she’d decided against it -- largely for the fact that Frigga would be quite angry with her if she ever learned of it. There would be consequences, and most certainly unpleasant ones. It was that fact alone that had Sif making her way down into the darkness beneath Asgard.

She stood in front of Loki’s cell for a long moment, not speaking, just observing him. His time in the cell had not treated him well; he was still as well-kept as ever, or appeared to be, but there was a tightness to his face, an intensity to his eyes, and neither of those things had been there in quite that amount seven months previously. Sif couldn’t help but wonder what kind of damage had already been done.

Loki finally looked up from the book they both knew he was only using as a tool to ignore her with and said, “What do you want?”

“Frigga thought you should know that July is in labor.”

Loki shot to his feet. “What did you say?”

“Frigga thought you should know that July is in labor,” Sif replied.

“And you didn’t.” Loki approached the barrier that kept him in the cell. “Yet here you are anyway.”

“Purely because I did not wish to suffer the consequences that I would undoubtedly find myself facing had I elected to not tell you,” Sif replied. “Were it me, you would never have known.”

Loki narrowed his eyes slightly at Sif, as though deciding on the validity of her words. And then he shrugged them off entirely. “In that case, I suppose I should thank my dearest mother,” he said. “I would have been more than displeased had I not been informed of the impending birth.”

“I should get back up there,” Sif said. “July needs me.”

“Why? You two aren’t exactly friends.”

“No, but I’m about the closest thing she has at the moment.” With those words, Sif was gone.

Loki stood where he was for a moment that felt entirely too long before smiling slowly, a not at all pleasant sort of smile. He could feel the rage building within him, as it had been for much of the past seven months. He could let it out now, easily enough, but it wasn’t time.

It wasn’t the _right_ time. Not yet.

But soon.

 

July had been pretty out of it by the time the baby finally came; even so, she was with it enough to demand that they give her baby to her. She didn’t trust them as far as she could throw them and she’d only be satisfied when her baby was in her arms.

“It’s a boy,” the doctor said, settling the baby into July’s waiting arms.

July didn’t hear her, though; she was too busy looking down at her son. Tiny, adorable, delicate, perfect… and not blue.

She let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. “He’s beautiful,” she whispered. “He’s absolutely beautiful.”

“And he looks like his father,” Frigga said softly, giving July a slight smile. “You really should hand him back, though. You need your rest.”

“In a minute,” July said, trailing a fingertip lightly along her son’s cheek. “After all that pain, I damn well get to enjoy seeing the end result, thank you.”

“As you wish,” Frigga said. “But do get some rest at some point. You need it and not only that, you deserve it.” She patted July’s arm lightly before leaving the room.

That left July alone in the room with her son and the doctor. She glanced up, keeping sight of where the woman was. Because as soon as she had a chance, July was going to be up and out of the room. She was damn well going to make sure Loki saw his son at least once. As soon as she had the chance, she was out of the room, finding a change of clothing, and beelining for the cells.

In the meantime, though, she was content to spend all the time in the world staring at her son and adoring him to no end. He was already the center of her existence and she would do anything to protect him.

God help anybody who got in her way.

 

Loki paced his cell restlessly; knowing July was in labor did nothing to help his nerves. He should have been there at her side; the fact that he wasn’t, well, he placed the blame solely on Odin for that one.

Footsteps coming towards his cell caught his attention. All the same, though, he didn’t stop with the restless pacing. And he only saw who stood there when his pacing brought him back face to face with the barrier.

July stood before him, looking about as pale as it was possible to get. She looked exhausted, yet triumphant. But most of all, she looked like she was still in pain.

“July.” His voice quiet, barely a whisper. “What are you doing here? You should be -- “ And then he saw the tiny bundle in her arms. “Is that…”

“Our son, yes,” July said, moving a few steps closer to the barrier. “He’s beautiful. Frigga says he looks like you.” She shifted the baby in her arms and nudged the blanket away from his face.

“With your skin color, though,” Loki said dryly.

“That was my thought, too,” July admitted. She gave him a slight smile. “I’d have loved him no matter what.”

Loki wanted to say something, but that desire to say something was overshadowed by the rage bubbling up inside him. His son had the love of his parents, the _true_ love of his parents, and that was something Loki had never had. He could deal with that, he supposed, were it not for the fact that he would never have the chance to help raise his son. Would never have the chance to make sure that his son’s life was everything that his own had never been.

The rage bubbled up in him, bubbled up and snapped out and there was barely time for him to motion for July to turn around before his magic lashed out, hit the barrier, and made it explode in a flash of sparks.

Not wasting a second, Loki stepped out of the cell, put a surprisingly gentle hand to July’s back, and said, “Let’s get out of here.”

“How?” she asked. “There’s no way out and Heimdall will never send me home.”

“I know ways.” Loki grabbed July’s arm as gently as he could. “Now run!”

Clutching the baby, July ran as fast as she could after Loki.

 

Odin looked up as a guard came into the throne room. “What is it?”

“Loki has escaped,” the guard said. “We do not know how, but he has.”

“ _What_?” Odin roared, rising to his feet. “Find him! Find him now!”

“Other guards are already looking,” the guard said. “So far, there is no sign of him.”

“Send someone to Heimdall,” Odin snapped. “Between him and the guards looking, I want Loki found _now_.”

He knew full well that Loki could cloak himself from Heimdall’s view, but that was why he had ordered the guards dispatched. He would not allow this escape to be made. He would not allow Loki to get off of Asgard.

Except he was pretty sure Loki already had.


End file.
